Planning a buck's night that won't endanger the wedding

The buck's night or bachelor party is one of those wedding traditions that can cause a shiver to go down any future bride's spine and a thrill through the best man. Viewed as a rite of passage for any man, the buck's party is really just a tradition where the groom and his best mates can get completely intoxicated and make fools of themselves, but most of all, the groom.

The stereotypical notion of the buck's party involving copious amounts of alcohol and scantily clad women (or worse!) has been a thorn in many marrying couples sides for decades, with many buck's nights clearly crossing the line between what's acceptable behaviour from a man about to be married and what isn't.

As the years have passed the concept of the buck's party has developed so that it can involve anything from skydiving to a boy's night out to sporting games, meaning that there are options for every kind of groom without threatening the future of their relationship with less than honourable behaviour.

A buck's night is no reason to suddenly misbehave in a way that your future spouse would be offended or consider unfaithful - act just as you would want her to act on her hen's night

The buck's party is often seen as the 'last night of the single man' - yet that is not really the case as it is really the celebration of the next stage of his life with his chosen partner. Yet for those that are in charge of organising a buck's night or have their own coming up, how do you prevent it becoming an issue with your future spouse? What is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to organising the buck's party?

The easiest answer is for the bride and groom to actually discuss the 'ground rules' for what is acceptable to happen at their respective parties. If there will be strippers then what is acceptable behaviour from each other perspective (i.e. no touching, lap dances etc) or any where they may go to on their parties.

By setting up these ground rules (and letting your best man or maid of honour know) most couples will have established a level of trust and clarity so that everyone knows where they stand from that point onwards.

Set up ground rules on acceptable behaviour with each other (and fill in your best man and maid of honour) so that they can support you both in this

While having ground rules is important, following them is even more so, so it is crucial that every buck (and his best man) look out for any behaviour that breaches the partner's trust. Many bucks have found themselves the sudden recipient of a surprise stripper on their buck's night - although many may have promised not to indulge in such behaviour to their future wife. In these cases some men have opted to trade seats with their best man, letting him take the main seat and relaxing back into a purely spectator role. Chances are your partner will find out about the stripper anyway so you may try to put yourself in the best light possible!

On that note, most relationship therapists have found that newlyweds will often have major trust issues if the bride or groom finds out after the wedding of any indiscretions at the buck's or hen's night so their key piece of advice is to be honest about everything that happen. While some people rely on the old adage "What happens at a bucks night, stays in the buck's night" - this is no way to enter a marriage or treat your future spouse so honesty is key. Give any and all details that you can when asked about anything for the sake of your relationship.


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