All your Wedding needs
4 March 2008
Men have a tendency to fall into one of two camps when planning a wedding: utterly useless or getting in the way. They just don't seem to understand the importance of it all past the looming commitment. Still, it's too stressful for you to take on all the work by yourself, and he's almost certainly worried by how much the wedding is going to cost. Do both of you a favour, and consider these five things to give your man to plan. Well, maybe four things for him...
1. If he hasn't proposed yet, do it first!
Okay, so maybe it's too late for this, but if you just think he might be considering proposing and you want to get a headstart on wedding budgeting, beat him to the punch. He probably doesn't care about an engagement ring and if you could do without one in favour of a better ceremony, skip it. The romance of an engagement ring is nice, but the money you save by waiting for your wedding ring could get you the wedding dress you really want!
If you have to have an engagement ring make sure you buy it, or if your new fiance insists on getting you one, be there with him to choose. He may overstretch himself on what he spends unless you suggest something to him in a reasonable price range for your wedding budget.
2. Let him and his mates start a home brew
Finally, we actually come to something for him to do. You may be a little bit wary of this one, but for the kind of boyfriend who gets in the way of planning, this should keep him distracted. This is really only an option if you are planning on a long engagement due to the length of time brewing something good will take (not to mention the practice attempts your man may need if he hasn't done it before).
There are a few advantages to the home brew if you have the time. For one, you can save on alcohol, as home brew is a lot cheaper to produce than buying beer commercially. This also lets you limit the drinks you need to purchase. You should only need enough wine or champagne for everyone, instead of paying for a large bar tab. Secondly, by insisting on his friends helping they will commit themselves to the brew they make for your wedding. You can at the very least take some very big drinkers out of any bar tab equations with this. All joking aside, this is a good way of starting your groom';s investment in the planning of the wedding by appealing to the fun in it for him.
3. Give him the transport duties
It's more than likely that your man likes cars, and good looking cars at that. If you're going to give him just one thing to organise, make it transport, as of anything he's going to complain about going wrong on the day, it's this. Decide on the budget beforehand and then leave the rest to him. He'll get the job done in budget, and will doubtless not be concerned by forcing a few relatives to make their own way to the reception. Speaking of which...
4. Have him draft the wedding guest list
I know what you're thinking. He's going to forget half your family, two-thirds of his, and most of your friends. That's what you're counting on. Whatever you do, don't let parents near the guest list, they'll remember a hundred people you met when you were born who simply must be invited. Let your boy do it, fill in the vital gaps, then go over the list together and think about ditching anyone either of you draw total blanks on, even after a gentle reminder.
Extra guests are the path to ridiculously expensive weddings, so just keep the invitations to only people who you are likely to see after you are married. If great aunt Irma (twice removed) is offended, well, have you ever even met her before?
5. If he has a sports club, use it for the wedding reception
Maybe you think a sports club is tacky, but there are several advantages to having your wedding reception at your newlywed husband's local. If he's well known they are more likely to make accommodations for you than a place you've never been before. As it's likely to be close to home, the guests that don't live too far away can more easily organise transport after drinking. Finally, it's familiar and comfortable, and after going through what is likely to be both the most terrifying and wonderful change of your life, a reminder of how much things have remained the same may be just the thing you both need.
Not everyone has the money lying around for an extravagant wedding, but getting your man as involved in the planning as you are should save you money, time and see him saving more efficiently, as he'll be just as excited as you are.
